And yet a nother combustion of thoughts

Christmas,

When we were children, our parents taught us that it was a time for family, and giving and love all around. Somewhere along the line I think that we forget that Christmas is about family. As a cashier, I see that for most adults, Christmas is about gift giving, spending, making sure you get EVERYTHING you need to make your children happy, which causes stress, and even makes you get mad at the cashiers for just doing their job. The truth is adults, it's not the children that need that lesson, it's you. Adults: Christmas, is a time of giving. Not stressing and taking it out on the people who are selling you the gifts you buy. You shouldn't be getting angry if you're not getting the sale, because as you tell your children, it's the thought that counts, not the price. So Adults, make sure YOU know that Christmas is about giving, love, and family, before you tell that to your children, otherwise you're setting a terrible example.

The Biggest Ass Theory

Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I AM a pompous ass.

I just read you're blog. You said that I have made you believe "that two people can('t) stay together forever". I crush dreams, I destroy hope. Do I ever do anything right? It doesn't seem like it.

Chelsey, I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am. I have killed your dream of love, your hope for ever finding love. Just say it, I am the biggest asshole around. If you were so sorry for posting what you posted, why did you post it? Couldn't you have wrote it on a piece of paper and locked it away somewhere? Or show it to the people you want to read it? I'm sorry, I've said it a thousand times, I don't know what else to say Chelsey. I tell you how the music video is going, and you make me feel like a total jerk for filming it.

Speaking of the music video, it's going great, got lots of filming done, and can't wait for it to be finished.

Back to where I was. I'm sorry, I'm an asshole.

__________________________________________

Now to the lighter side of life.

Chris. Thank yous o much for coming down, I had a blast as always! PS The music video is looking sharp....love the shirt you wore in it lol!

Caitlin. Just like every time, I enjoy every second I spend with you, and dread the moment we part, and then look forward to the next time I see you.

For those who want to see the music video, it should be finished mid-January

Stay Tuned!

Lot's to say

Well I have lots to say, most of it I can't, but I'm gonna try my best to tell as much as I can.

First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY and I hope it was a good one for you!

Secondly, I saw Les Misérables and you guys were fucking awesome! Matt G, you have grown soooo much since Grease, and I'm proud of you!

Christmas is coming, and OMG I have like no money to get people stuff and arrgghhhh!!!!! I'm trying but Sobeys only pays me so much....well not enough actually -_- Assholes, but any whore, life is alright, Chelsey, if you're reading this (see my good grammar :O ) it was great talking to you last night, like I said, if we didn't work out as a couple, we would always be best friends, I promised that, and it's a promise I intend to keep.

Sweeney was fantastic, I miss you guys already, we definitely get together for Christmas or New Years thing!

I'm in a new play now, it's called Unity: 1918 and it's being played at the Durham Shoestring Performers, I'm really excited :)

To my new buddy Caitlin, having lots of fun when we get together, even if it's for a couple hours at a mall talking or going over for a lot of hours and watching a movie and talking, I love spending time with you, and hope that all that sticks.

To my best friend Mel, you're an awesome friend, you're always there for me, and if I didn't have you as a friend, I don't know where I would be today, thank you so much for being that awesome friend.

To my best friend Chris, so I can't wait to see you this week, gonna be siick! Filming and just getting together in general, it's gonna be wicked.

I think I touched on everything on my mind, oh wait, Chrystal, hang in there kiddo, there is someone for you out there, just be single for a while, you need to find who you are again,

th-th-th-that's all f-f-f-f-f-f-folkes!

impact

I didn't think this would have as much as an impact as it has on me. It's been 4 days, yet seeing you hurt is still killing me. But there is nothing I can do, I can't go back, because I know for a fact I will just get hurt again. Why? I don't understand! I'll check your Facebook, your Tagged, but why am I? I care about you yes, that's a definite. As far as I know there are on lingering feelings. Maybe I'm being protective? Who knows? Yet if I'm being protective, why am I wanting space from all this?

Why?

Giving Blood

So on Remberance Day (which is Canadian for Veterans Day for all you Yankees) I have blood for the first time. I was a little nervous, you know taking 500mL of my blood, but it wasn't all that bad. My motivation? My best friend Melissa MacDonald. She is 18 years old, almost 19, and she has had 3 liver transplants in her lifetime; and thanks to the generous donors of the time, she is still alive and healthy, well she's battling a nasty cold right now, but she always pull through. Thanks for inspiring me Mel! As to all you people who need blood, you can always count on me :)

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously!

I wanna go to college. I'm applying, looking to places that I wanna go, I've done my research, I'm trying to save my money, it's hard, but I'm trying! So today I went to apply, and I need a credit card to apply; I don't have one. So I asked mom if I could use it. She refused, which boggles my mind because she was the one who was telling people that I didn't ask last year for a credit card to apply, and now I do, and she refuses. Seriously WHAT THE FUCK!!!! You want me to go so why the fuck on God's green earth are you not providing me the fucking means to fucking apply????? I'm so sick and fucking tired of sitting on my ass and watching everyone around me get a fucking education! I wanna make films, I want the knowledge to fucking go places, but you won't let me go!!! I have a dream, one of the so very few people in my entire family who has one. I wanna be a director, I need a credit card to apply to college in order to achieve my dream. You always tell me that you are supportive parents. Oh yeah? I can't understand why I don't see it! Maybe it's because you won't support my education, but you will support my sister going to college! Like seriously! You know I have ADHD, which already puts me at a disadvantage of saving money, yet you criticize me, tell me that I'm not trying. WELL I AM FUCKING TRYING!!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO TRY AND SAVE SOMETHING WHEN YOU HAVE AN IMPULSIVE DISORDER!!!! YOU REALLY DON'T!!!

I'm so fucking tempted to give up and fall into the hole that the rest of my family has, which is "fuck post-secondary lets work in retail for the rest of our lives". I don't wanna fall into that circle, I want to succeed, I want to do something with my life. College will help me get there, but not if I don't have the means, and the only way I can do it is if my parents loan me their credit card, but they won't because they criticize me and nag at me to save when it's so hard for me to!!!

UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!

Closing Night

OMG OMG OMG OMG yeah sorry it's been a while, but I've been sooooooooooo busy with Sweeney and work, phewww! So Today is closing night!!!! Exciting, yet sad at the same time. I have made a DVD for the cast and crew, took a long time to compile but hey, it was definitely worth it. I would like to thank Doug Craven, Genevieve Hebert-Carr, Monica Cotton, and the entire cast and crew for the experience, it has been unforgettable, and I love every moment I spent with you guys. A special thanks to Haley Kerr: We may not talk much anymore, but I need to thank you for introducing me to Sweeney Todd. If you never showed me the movie, I wouldn't have watched it about 10000000000000000000000000000 times, and then wouldn't have auditioned for the show, and therefore wouldn't be in this production. I would also like to thank my parents for supporting me through this show, it's great to have such supportive parents! I would like to thank my girlfriend Chelsey Johnston for helping me get through some of the rough rehearsals and the rough nights, and for hanging on. I am sorry that we haven't had much time together over the last few weeks, and I'm so glad you are hanging on to what we have, I love you!

And last but simply not least, thank you to everyone that came out! Without an audience it wouldn't have gone on.

This was without a question the best experience of my life in a long time. But there needs to be one last thank you. To Doug Craven: Thank you for reviving my passion for acting, and the theatre, because of you, I really want to start acting again. You rekindled a long lost flame inside me that was waiting to act, waiting to get on stage in the lime light.

Once again, thank you everyone, I will miss each and every one of you dearly.

Opening night and an argument

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

So tonight is opening night! SOOOO excited and SOOOO nervous at the same time!!

The following people are attending, which is why it makes it nerve racking:

Mommy

Daddy

Nana

Poppa

Aunt Cindy

Gacka

Cindy

Chelsey

Jessi + her friend

So yeah!! Exciting, nervous, and my Chelsey is staying the night :) woooooot!

So the argument....

my "friend" Pat and I got into an argument with him about this very day actually. It hurts because he was supposed to come and he didn't because of the "memories" he had in Oshawa. I'm not sure if it's just me who thinks this, but I think that's pretty selfish. Friends make sacrifices for other friends, especially if it's something that they love, like acting for example. He deleted me off Facebook and everything.

But whatever.

OPENING NIGHT!

PS I'm on the left :P

Last Rehearsal Tonight

OK guys, so tonight is the last rehearsal before we have an audience, and I'm nervous as fuck! As I've said before, the show rests on my shoulders with that opening line, no pressure though right? But now that we have had a chance to work with both costumes and a set and lighting, I think we should be OK for tomorrow's performance for the seniors.

I've taken probably over 1,000 pictures, half of them haven't turned out, but hey, if you put a camera in my hand, I go "Trigger-Happy". I'm going to create another blog to show you a shit load of pictures that I have taken so far, I only have one night left to photograph the show, but after tonight, it's just cast and behind the scene pictures, either way, I'll still be going trigger happy. I have also posted videos on my YouTube account, so you can also tune in there for all the vids and rehearsals, so like I said, STAY TUNED!

I think that's it for now, I'm STARVING!

oh, btw, here is the link for my YouTube account:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ETPROD0790

Rest in Peace Brother Leonard

Brother Leonard

You were a great guy, one of the best people I ever had a chance to work with. You were such a dedicated and faithful person. I don't wanna say too much because I don't want my keyboard to electrocute me with the tears that will fall, but I want you to know that you are already so greatly missed. You are in a better place now.

We Love You Brother.

Rest in Peace

FOGG!!!

I TRIED ON MY COSTUME FOR FOGG TODAY XD

That's all I wanted to say....

oh, and look at the pic :D

THREE WEEKS!!!!

Oh my gee! Exactly THREE weeks today is opening night :O Scary shit eh? There is a rehearsal tonight, it's supposed to be a big one. I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually scared that we're not gonna be ready for then.

On a totally unrelated note, Chelsey JUST discovered that the deeper yo put a straw into a drink and blow, the deeper the sound of the bubbles are. And that if you accidentally sneeze on your computer screen there are rainbow spit spots all over your screen. (ps I got a text message)

Back to Sweeney. Yes, it's getting very close, costume rehearsal is on Sunday, exciting :)

Well that's it for now, ciao!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

Scary thought coming your way here: WE OPEN IN THREE WEEKS!!!!

Nervous? You bet I am. Fuck I OPEN the show every night! PLUS the harmony is killer and i DEFINITELY don't want to fuck it up. If you want to see the show, BU TIX NOW!!!!! Cuz they are ALREADY 50% SOLD OUT!!!!

I've got my lines down pat, but my harmony, that's just asking for a fucking miracle.

Not gonna lie though, the cast is GREAT!! The director is amazing and the best part is that EVERYBODY gets along with EVERYONE!! It's great and I love it :)

Anyways, that's it for now folks, gotta go practice!!

ps yes I'm the dead guy

friend.... pffft yeah ok

You call yourself a friend? Friends don't push each other away, friends don't ignore each other, friends don't delete shit from each other! So why the fuck are you doing it? I text you, and you ignore me, I see your status' that are sad and upsetting and I ask you if you're ok. One person tells you that they will always be there for you, and your all happy that they are there for you, then I tell you I'll always be here for you, and you're just like, "yeah I know". It used to be "I know and it means a lot to me" and now it's just "yeah I know"? Like seriously what the fuck! Stop hiding behind that digital wall and be an ACTUAL friend, or just come out and tell me that you don't want me talking to you. You told me you hate how people act like high school kids when they are 19/20 years old. YOU'RE the one acting like a high school kid. Grow the fuck up!

Ramble Ramble Ramble

Ok, so I went to work, and was pretty sure I thought I was going to be late. Turns out I was actually just on time :) thank Buddha! The work day was pretty good too, not a single asshole! Anyways, then once I got home, had a wonderful dinner, very nummy :)

I finally watched X-Men Origins today. It was ok, not as good as I thought it would be. Oh well

and that's it

Oh Boy

So this day is already off to fucked up start. First off all, my computer decided to be a bitch. I just wanted to download Sing Sing by Marianas Trench, but my computer is too slow for its own good. Secondly my dad decided to be a pompus dick when I finally got my computer to co-operate, decided to unplug my iPod and turn off the computer. Oh ya, and I have to work today, and I wanted to go bowling tonight with an old friend, but I'm pretty sure I don't have enough money to go. Oh and there's a boy at my girlfriends house, who, I'm pretty convinced that he likes her a lot. So yeah I'm scared. Most of you would probably be like "well if she loves you, then you have nothing to worry about". Well if you have lived my life, you would have every reason to be scared and afraid too!

I love you, and you know that, at least, I hope you do...

And thus FOGG was born!

So last night I went to my friend Perry's house for dinner with him and his wife, de have you licious ever Salmon! (only if you're in Sweeney will you understand) While I was there, we also ran lines and I started to develop my character of Mr. Fogg. And last night, he was born! Very creepy and sketchy character he is! I also thought about getting a shave today, but I think I will do that tomorrow!

Rehearsal tonight, I'll be taking pictures as usual, and probably try making some videos as well.

Ciao :)

Pet Peeve

OK, so i REALLLY need to rant!

One of my number one pet peeves is, people who you haven't seen in AGES tell you that they want to hang out, and you do too, and they NEVER follow through. And if you REALLY wanna piss me off, the moment I start talking about hanging out, you COMPLETELY stop talking to me or just make up excuses OR just completely change the topic.

I hate it, and you all know who you are!

If you don't wanna hang out with me, just save my feelings and just fucking tell me!

Seriously!

Just ranting...

OK, so life has been tough lately. Seems like everyday my girlfriend and I seem to be arguing, all about the stupidest shit, and it bothers me because soon it will be our 7 months, and now we constantly argue. The other day she brought up that we should take a break. I'm not a firm believer in breaks, due to previous experiences. In other words, we took a break, and that girl never came back. Then again, now her and I are best friends, but that's a story for another day. Sweeney rehearsals are becoming more and more tense, we've had three people drop out in one week, one of them was a lead, and two of them were chorus roles, we now have 4 more chorus roles, and our director, Doug Craven, has now filled the shoes of the Beadle. Yet we are still managing to get by, opening night is November 5th, 2009 and tickets will go on sale October 5th (one month before opening night).

On to lighter news, I FINALLY got everything I need to start making small movies again, except for one teeny tiny little problem: I don't know how to install the firewire card in my computer, if anyone out there knows how, please don't hesitate to let me know...I've been patient for almost a year to start making movies, and now it's just at the edge of my fingertips, but i just can't reach it!

Tune in later for more blogs like this.... because one thing is for sure, Sweeney rehearsals are just going to get harder.

West Ass

OK, so Kanye West is an asshole with what he did to Taylor Swift. It was Taylor's virst VMA award, and he completely stole the stage from her, of course earlier he was spotted drinking alcohol on the red carpet.....dick head!

Fakers

Ok, so I don't know how many of you are out there, but I know there are a lot. I'm talking about FAKERS. You pretend to be someone you're not, and you live a lie both to yourself and the people around you. It's honestly pure idiocy. Why would you go through all that trouble to pretend to be someone completely different than yourself? My opinion, because obviously you want to fit in, make your boyfriend/girlfriend happy, and be a part of THEIR gang. Yet you're completely honest to your closest friends. To me, that's a lot of work for one person in one day. If you want true friends, and a true boyfriend/girlfriend, be yourself, otherwise they fall in love with someone that is not you. Be true, be honest and most importantly be yourself, because if you're not yourself, then no one will ever like nor love the real you.

Everyone, please keep this in mind every second of evry day.

The Storm the Sweeney Cast Blames Doug For

Ok, so since I live in Southern Ontario, for those of you who know about that storm yesterday, yes we got hit too, it was pretty intense.

So anyways, I was at rehearsal during this storm and all of a sudden the power goes out yet the emergency lights stay on, but they didnt stay on for long. The power was out for about 10 minutes, and then it came back on only for about 2 minutes. Then the power stayed off, even the emergency lights. While the power was out it was amazing how many people had, and whipped out their cell phones so we could read our script. The "cel-lights" proved effecient, but then our director called off rehearsal, after taking blame for the storm.

Just wanted to share that with you :)

Weekend in London

Ok, so I had an AMAZING weekend in London Ontario with my best friend (well I consider him my brother) Chris. And of course everyone else I ended up visiting while I was there. So this is just a short one, but I would like to thank Chris for his hospitality for a while (the duckie's amused me, oh, and the burnt grilled cheese was great :P and don't forget the stir fry I could barely eat with my chop-sticks) And of course our weekend project was pretty freaking awesome, lot's of hard work was put into that recording :) It was a great learning experience!

Thanks for everything bro, not for just this weekend, but for your friendhip!

A toast; to everlasting friendship!

Niight All!!

PS Chris, I REALLY enjoyed our 2 hour talk about the corrupt-ness of Catholocism and the awesomeness of Buddhism!

August 2008- August 2009- Farewell to an AMAZING friendship

Gemma:

You were always there for me. You saved my life. At one point, we were BOTH Gem Stones, I was your Saphrire, and you were my Ruby strictly friendhship of course. But Gem, you saved my life, on more than one occasion; that is something that I will never forget, and I owe you my life.

There is a story:

Before I even met you, I found a dog tag, with the name "Gemma". For some reason, I kept it, I don't know why I did, but I did. I was in grade 12 walking home from school. 3 months later, you popped into my life through a silly little cellphone thing called "Fast Flirting" and through that, we became best friends.

What a coincidence that I find this tag that once belonged to someone's dog, and have a best friend only 3 months later with the same name. As a joke, my girlfriend said we were meant to be, but judging by this post, I guess we weren't.

I'm going to miss you Gemma, and I will never forget you.

R.I.P. ET & GW 2008-2009

Heading to work

Well I will be leaving for work in an hour so I decided to do a quick blog before I go.

First of all remember my blog yesterday about being polite to the cashier, trust me you will make that persons day.

Secondly just wanted to share my excitement on getting my SWEENEY TODD script todayXD WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, just a short one today :)

Ciao

Long Day at work

Ok so it was a long day at work today, INSANELY BUSY and most of them were complete assholes!

But I did have this one customer today, and told me something that I think the whole world needs to be reminded of when they interact with a cashier:

"Being polite goes a long way"

because yes, we are human too! we have feelings!

So the next time you go into a grocery store or any store for that matter, be courteous to that person behind the cash register, you will probably make their day :)

That is all

Ciao!